Avoiding the 'WHERE clause wasn't selected' problem

…you know the one. In SSMS it looks like this:

You meant to only update a few rows, but you weren't paying attention to what you'd selected before hitting the Execute button. The WHERE clause got missed from what you executed, and you've updated every row. Oops.

Now, I totally hear you that you could've put this in a transaction, checked your results and then only done a COMMIT when you were sure. You could even have put that COMMIT inside an IF block that checked @@ROWCOUNT… yes, yes, yes. You could have used an SSMS add-in to let you execute the whole query that you're currently on. You could've used a different tool entirely, such as Azure Data Studio. There are plenty of ways to avoid this. But I'm going to show you something that I find works for me, especially when I'm giving the script to someone else to run.

The trick is to use a sub-query, and to run my UPDATE across that. I have to use an alias, sure, but I generally do that anyway.

It looks like this:

And the trick is that this code will not run unless the whole sub-query is selected. It's updating the alias of the sub-query, so unless you explicitly remove the WHERE clause (which I know you might do for some unbeknown reason) and forget to put it back, you can't select just part of this by careless mouse-and-keyboard-shortcut work.

The "SELECT *, –" section makes sure that whoever is going to run this can tell what's about to happen, including the new values that they're looking for, confirm the number of rows, and then highlight from the UPDATE on, knowing that it's impossible for them to miss highlighting some of it. Because it's just way too easy to highlight 'not quite everything'.

I get that this idea doesn't work quite so well when CTEs are involved, and that I might need to be careful about column names if the FROM clause has multiple tables (such as by only returning the columns from the table actually being updated and anything else I need for the sake of the update). But still, it helps.

It's a small thing. Sometimes life is made up of a bunch of small things that together make a difference.


Helping the research into COVID-19

Interesting times at the moment. You may have read my piece a few weeks ago about how I think it's irresponsible to do data analysis on the coronavirus situation unless you have sufficient domain knowledge and enough empathy to understand the impact of what you find. But this doesn't mean that we make like we're at the Winchester and wait for it all to blow over. There are some things we can do.

One such thing is the something that Glenn Berry (@GlennAlanBerry) put me on to, and that's Folding@Home.

One major area of research into diseases is to see how protein 'folds' into various shapes, so that they can function as enzymes, antibodies, and so on. This is all chemical biology that is way outside my area of expertise, but I understand that when proteins fold incorrectly somehow, some diseases can occur. Horrible diseases like Alzheimer's or cystic fibrosis. Understanding protein folding can also lead to knowing more about how viruses use proteins against our immune systems… you can read more about all this at https://foldingathome.org/covid19/

The thing is that to understand protein folding better, tonnes of simulations need to be run. And this takes processing power that research labs simply don't have enough of.

And this is where you and I come in.

I remember when Jim Gray went missing. I was in the US, working on a project for Microsoft, when news came in that his boat had gone missing. Within a few days, satellite images became available, and people (including me) would look through them for anything that might have been worth investigating. I trawled through hundreds of images hoping that someone somewhere might find some sign of him before it was too late. We never did and he was declared dead five years later. But seeing people all over the world come together to assist in a project like this was remarkable. And practical too. The SETI project, in which people listen to radio signals hoping to find extra-terrestrial intelligence doesn't seem as practical to me as trying to find a person who has gone missing.

Or to help find a cure for diseases which are ravaging our population.

And so I downloaded the Folding @ Home software from foldingathome.org, ran the software, and joined a team. I even spun up an old machine I wasn't using, so that it could help too. Now, processing power that I'm not using is running these simulations and it might bring researchers closer to finding cures for some of these things. And because of other processing power I have available, Kelly Broekstra has also put me onto DreamLab (that's iOS, try here for Android), which is a phone-based system that's similar. Now when I'm not using my iPhone but near a power supply (like when I'm sleeping), I run this app and let it crunch numbers. The screen dims about ten seconds after I tell it to start, which reassures me that I'm not burning the screen out.

This is a small thing. There are plenty of bigger things that we could all do, but it's also very simple to do this small thing, and it could become a very big thing if a lot of us do it.

Thank you Glenn and Kelly for putting me onto this. I hope everyone who gets involved stays involved long after COVID-19 has disappeared from society, because it seems this can really help researchers into some of the most horrible diseases out there.


Patching SQL in Docker

If you read my blog regularly, you may have noticed that I installed SQL in Docker on my new laptop a couple of months ago (incidentally, I think it must still be new, because I still make mistakes when doing various shortcuts around the special keys like the arrow keys, End, PgUp, etc). Anyway, that was a while back now, and I recently wanted to try Cumulative Update.

Now, the thing with running SQL in containers is that the concept of downloading a patch file doesn't work in the same way. If it were regular Linux, the commands would be very simple, such as 'sudo yum update mssql-server' in RHEL. But Docker doesn't quite work the same way, as reflected by the Microsoft documentation which mentions Docker for installing but not in the Update section.

The trick to this is to remember that the Docker container is just a container running an image. So blowing it away and starting again is easy, as is spinning up different containers based on separate images. The database files are (hopefully) in separate volumes – accessed by the container, but not part of the image that's running.

So we just grab the latest image, stop and remove the old container, and run it up again using the new image. So I run this PowerShell code to do that. It's worth noting that the pull won't actually pull anything if the 2019-latest image hasn't changed. I could be more specific and pull the image based on the tag (which is unique), but the code I'm using will just grab whatever is marked as 2019-latest. Specific tags is what I want for testing against a variety of versions, so that I can be really sure which one is which, but if I'm just patching my local machine, 2019-latest is good.

A container on this image looks for the master database files in /var/opt/mssql/data and /var/opt/mssql/log, so by having those folders reference folders outside the container, nothing changes when I blow away the sql2019 container. When the new one starts, it sees the master database, which tells it where to find the user databases. As is the case with any upgrade, it'll apply any required changes when the SQL process spins up and loads the databases.

So this ends up being a very simple process. I can just have that block of code run whenever I want to make sure I've got the latest version. And if I forget, I'll come back here and grab the code again!


Responsibility with data

It's easy to be a superhero when you have skills with data.

Being able to analyse data gives you super-vision, letting you see things you couldn't see before. It can give insight into what might happen in the future – prescient knowledge. It gives super-speed because you can react and adapt to situations much more quickly.

But to quote Spider-Man: with great power comes great responsibility.

It's all well and good to do amazing things with data. To see that a particular value is going up while another value isn't. To improve data quality. To learn about how data relates to businesses. To develop a culture around data. To use data effectively.

It's all well and good because if we focus too much on the numbers we can disconnect the data from what it means. In some ways, this can provide an objectivity that can become a strength. Letting the numbers speak for themselves without emotional ties. No strings.

Except that data is not just numbers. Data refers to things. To people. To loan applications. To medical emergencies. To salaries. Things that should never be considered just numbers. Reduced through objectivity to mere objects. These things are the subjects of life, and we need to always retain some amount of subjectivity.

It's easy for an accountant to look at the cost of the people in an organisation, and decide that that cost needs to be reduced. That people need to be let go. It's easy to look at a credit rating score and use that to turn down a loan application, but does this give the full story?

Profile shot of a concerned businessman talking on the phone while sitting in front of monitors displaying financial information

We find that within any of our clients, the data may well tell a story. We can create models that predict whether someone will behave a particular way, much like meteorologists predict whether it's going to rain. But the emotional investment of a raindrop is not the same as the emotional investment in someone's life.

Recently my friend Meagan Longoria, an expert on data visualisation, wrote at https://datasavvy.me/2020/03/26/stress-cases-and-data-visualization/ about how we need to remember that the people looking at data need to understand the stress level that consumers of data are under. The current situation with COVID-19 a strong example she gives about how everyone has been impacted in some way by this virus, whether they've been in hospital from it or lost loved ones through to being inconvenienced by closure of their local gym. Some people might happily look at charts about the number of cases all day, while other might be petrified in fear.

I'm not about to start producing charts in the public domain about a subject area I know relatively little about. Particularly when those data points are people who are hurting, and all the data points that are not on there are people who are potentially fearing for their own lives. If a customer of ours wants me to do some analysis on their COVID-19 data, then that's up to them, and might help them understand various aspects. But the human element of it is not lost there, because it's an organisation trying to understand the data in their world.

Pay attention to what Meagan and others are saying, and don't be tempted to report on data just because it's there. Consider the human impact of it. Seek to understand how people are impacted by the data. Seek to understand what aspects of people are described by data points, by trends in the data, by your reporting of the data.

People are always more important than data, and we would do well not to forget that.

In summary, we need to maintain an empathetic perspective on the data we're analysing, just like we need to keep an empathetic perspective on people.


Testing Within the Database

Specifically, unit testing. As per Hamish Watson (@thehybriddba)'s topic for this month's T-SQL Tuesday.

Hamish wants to develop a conversation about unit testing within database because he recognises that the lack of unit testing is a significant problem. It's quite commonplace in the world of iterative code, of C#, Java, and those kinds of languages, but a lot less commonplace in the world of data. I'm going to look at two of the reasons why I think this is.


When I was first taught to write code, I was taught about Conditionals and Looping. Conditions are the 'IF' statements, and Looping is the FOR or WHILE statements. You can write just about anything using these. But I was also taught that Modularisation was just as important, so that blocks of code could be called when appropriate, rather than having to repeat them each time. Everything else, including the building blocks of any paradigm like object-oriented programming or logic programming, was secondary to these core concepts.

And then years later I entered the database world, where coding was different. Queries used joins and predicates, not looping and conditionals, and although these things were possible within stored procedures, it was better include the logic within the query itself. As for modularisation, scalar functions were frowned upon, although procedures that called other procedures were okay.

Without modules, the units to be tested are a little less obvious, so fewer people think of unit testing in the database development world as they do in iterative languages.


'State' is how about the world looks when a particular set of code is called. A set of parameters that is passed into a module is not typically referred to as the 'state', but that's pretty much all that isn't. The concept of 'statelessness' is that anything that might be needed to allow a module to behave in particular way should be passed in as a parameter, and not pulled in from anywhere else. After all, that 'anywhere else' could be different tomorrow, and the module might behave differently.

Statelessness is what makes a module deterministic. When a function is called with a particular set of parameters, the result should be the same as any other time it was called with those same parameters. This is one of the fundamental premises of unit testing. We know that if we call an 'Add' function with the values 3 and -2, the result should always be 1. If it's anything else, then something's not right.

But the world of databases is all about state. The database describes the world of that system as it is in that moment, and it's unlikely to ever be in that same exact state again.

So do we skip unit testing for databases?

No! It's just that things might need to be tested in different ways.

A test harness for a database environment needs to include a database, but this should an opportunity not a hindrance. The database used for testing can include scenarios that you would hope never to find in a production database. You wouldn't want anyone's name to include strange characeters or potentially malicious code, but this could be included in a database used for testing. Products with negative prices, or prices that are so high that they would cause overflow problems, are excellent for test harnesses. It's how to make sure that errors are handled smoothly, and that alerts about these conditions are being flagged.

Databases have a lot of things that need testing, because it's not just about ensuring that modules of code have the right impact. It's important to know and test the impact of SSIS processes, to be confident that conditions that break constraints fail gracefully, and to be reassured that reports will still be produced even if the data is unexpected or missing.

So for unit testing within the database, yes it's very much a thing. I don't particularly care how you define the units you're testing, whether they be queries, statements, procedures, functions, packages, reports, execution plans, or anything else. You can test them for correctness, for performance, for grace in failure, for whatever you like. Think of the edge cases you want to put into the testing database. Think of the conditions you want to the system to be in when testing.

Just test.


Developing a data culture when talking is harder

Developing a data culture is no easy task. Having a culture where people look to the data to understand what's going on is incredibly useful no matter whether it's to address big-picture questions or the minutiae of individual situations. And typically organisations have a lot more data than they expect, so it's quite realistic to assume that there is probably data that could answer a lot of questions, if only they have a way to get the answers.

I see a number of steps involved in establishing a data culture. Some involve technical hurdles and many are more directly cultural. It's one thing to be able to demonstrate the quality of some data, but it can be quite another to have people understand and appreciate said quality. Being able to act on data first means knowing you have it.

As consultants (here at LobsterPot Solutions) who help our customers on the journey of developing data culture, we like to work from their sites, and make ourselves available for answering questions about the data. Ultimately, we want our customers to be able to get the answers themselves. Tools like Power BI can help this become a reality. But before they reach that point, it's good to have them ask those questions of us. Not only does it help clue us up as to the things that we need to include in data models, but it helps demonstrate that they're thinking about data. That their data culture coming along.

This willingness to ask questions has to filter through a large portion of any organisation trying to establish a data culture. It's great to have senior management understand the significance of data, but if the people under them aren't also making that same shift, then there's trouble coming. What happens if the middle-manager reports up to senior management using an incorrect version of data that the senior manager can see. Having a 'single point of truth' for data is very important.

While they're still on the journey to being able to get the answers themselves, the single point of truth for data might often be the team of people who are developing the analytics system – often the team which my staff or I are helping. We're very used to having our days consist of the technical and design work that we're doing towards a self-service reporting environment, as well as workshops and training we're doing to develop the culture, and also a long list of practical questions about the data. The same questions that will get answered via the models we're creating, but which are more time-critical and get answered in other ways – queries against a model or cube or warehouse, or maybe even against the operational system (taking care to avoid any kind of impact). These questions are important. Turning these people away prevents the development of a data culture, because their curiosity is extinguished. Their appetite for the answers is dampened, not whetted. I try to encourage everyone to have access to data, even if it's through me.

Except that I'm not always there. And in a time when an increasing number of people are needing to work from home, maybe there's nobody physically in the office who is working on the data.

Many organisations have a culture of asking each other questions via email, Teams, Slack, or whatever. But one of the biggest impacts I have is by being physically present, so that people ask who I am, find out that I'm not scary, and start to talk about the data. A lot of the culture around asking data-related questions is knowing how to ask those questions, so being physically present helps.

Suddenly this month, it feels like everyone is working from home.

Australia has reacted quite late compared to many countries, but is now banning large non-essential gatherings, and it wouldn't surprise me if the restrictions only becomes more severe as time goes on until a solution is found. Organisations across the world are putting out their own advice, and telling people to work from home if they can.

Having teams spread out makes all kinds of communication harder, including those questions about data that I consider so important. If I'm not physically there, are people still wondering the same questions but not getting the answers? At what point do they simply stop wondering?

For me, I think this comes down to prompting the conversation about data. Find ways to tell stories about their data, and start communicating it – emails, SSRS subscriptions, whatever works, to get information out there to pique interest. With a standing invite to ask more questions. This can be put down to educating people about the opportunity with data, or to validate assumptions (this one is particularly useful because if you're asking someone for help with it, then they're more likely to look deeper and start to think about the potential), or to push the data through a "Quick Insights" tool to come up with 'Did you know…?'-style trivia. The more the data can be discussed and be interesting, the more a culture around understanding data thrive.

Pretty soon, conversation should be able to flow more easily even if you're not there, but communication channels need to be established. Self-service is great, but ideally you can make some sort of a forum for people to share their nuggets of insight. It's the kind of thing that someone can share with a colleague in a "Hey – check this out" context. It demonstrates excitement about what they're discovering. It demonstrates that they understand the business that they're in, what the organisation does, and hopefully where there's an opportunity for improvement. When people can't walk up to each other in the same way, an effort might be needed to make this happen – Slack conversations, Team channels, whatever works to develop and maintain social interaction. Then find ways to incorporate data nuggets into the mix.

A data culture doesn't have to be hard to instigate. It might require some work on the data itself, including data cleansing, modelling, and tools to let people get at the insight. But the key is to let interest in the data thrive, with enthusiasm firing, and to make sure there are ways to let that continue. Find ways to encourage conversation for the sake of your team, and for the sake of the data culture, find ways to encourage conversation about the data as well.


New laptop – installing less

I was a Surface Pro user for quite a while. I had a Surface Pro 2 for a few years, and had a Surface Pro 4 for about four years, until last week when the screen decided it was going to start jittering. I wasn't happy. Still, I had a good run with it, and arguably a new laptop was well overdue.

This time I've gone with an actual laptop – an HP one. I know Surface Pros are still an option, but I figured this would be okay. It's nice to have a slightly better keyboard than the ones that are on the Surface, and my Surface Pens work just fine too. My physio tells me I should try to use a mouse when I'm working from a desk (and that I should try to use a second monitor when I can), and my preferred mouse is still the Microsoft Presenter Mouse 8000 which I've had since maybe 2008. I often just use the touchpad instead of a mouse, so this is different – and the touchpad on my new machine is fine, as was the one on the Surface Pro 4.

But the big thing with this new laptop is that I've made a conscious decision about what to install on it. And particularly, what things to NOT install.

For example, I've only installed SQL inside docker, not directly on Windows. I'm running the Linux version just because I can.

But today I feel like I've compromised.

Today I've installed SSMS, instead of persisting with just Azure Data Studio. It only took a week for me to cave, and the reason is Query Store.

In ADS I can configure Query Store no problem, either using T-SQL or the handy Database Administration Tool Extensions.



…but the thing I don't see in ADS yet is a way of viewing the reports.

What I want to be able to do is connect to a customer's database in Azure, and pull up the Query Store reports. I know Azure has some great information about what's consuming resources via the portal, but I also just like using Query Store for some of this. I've got used to telling our clients that Query Store should be collecting data, and I like being able to jump on and have a look on those times when it seems performance has dipped. It's great to see that the plans that have changed, see what's consuming the resources, and all that.

And while I know that I could analyse the Query Store without SSMS using the queries found in the documentation, and even tweak them myself… I have to admit that I like using the SSMS interface. When someone puts together an ADS extension for it, I'll try to avoid using that as a reason to open SSMS, but for now, Query Store is the reason why I've installed it.

If you're not convinced about how useful Query Store is, I recommend you explore some of the other blog posts that will be appearing today, as Tracy Boggiano (@TracyBoggiano) is hosting a T-SQL Tuesday all about Query Store. I'm sure you'll find that it's quite remarkable and worth using regularly.

And try running SQL on docker, and try Azure Data Studio. Don't wait until you replace your hardware to do this…


Dear MVPs

The MVP site says that the "Microsoft MVP Award recognizes exceptional community leadership". Now I don't have much of an idea about what gets classified as 'exceptional', and 'leadership' is a whole nother matter again, and while I wince a little at the 'zee' in 'recognizes', I do feel comfortable with what we mean by 'community'. So I'm going to write about that for a bit.

To me, the community that we MVPs are involved in caters for anyone who is interested in similar technologies to us. We're generally involved in a number of communities – online, local in-person, the people gathered at an event that we're at, as well as non-technical communities such as the people who live near us. Quite possibly we don't even know many of the people in our communities but that doesn't stop them being a community. The people that find blog posts of mine are part of a community that I continue to reach, even if that blog post is more than ten years old. The people that sit on the bus with you in the morning form a kind of community even though you may never have even spoken to them.

Community suggests we have something in common with these people – a common interest or common culture or common behaviour – and the differences start to matter somewhat less. Hopefully it doesn't matter to the people in my user group that I'm 6'4" with glasses and a beard, because that doesn't describe any of them. It shouldn't matter that none of them are part of the community of parents from my daughter's school. We celebrate what we have in common, not our differences.

In fact, it's the differences within a community that make it stronger. If everyone in my user group were 6'4" with glasses and a beard, it would probably mean that a new attendee with 20/20 vision might feel out of place. As much as I'd say "No, please, you're more than welcome to stay", they would probably count the number of eyes in the room and feel like they weren't contributing enough. If you don't feel like you have anything in common with anyone, it's harder to establish community, and we have a great starting place in technology – but we have to understand that the differences matter.

Diversity matters.

I'm not going to pretend I have the faintest clue about discrimination. I'm a tall, straight, white, English-speaking male. The few occasions when I've been different to those around me don't even begin to compare to people who face unjust discrimination on a daily basis. I think back to being the only dad doing the school pickup, not knowing whether I was welcome in that little community of mums. Some seemed overly friendly, some made me feel like I was being defined purely by my gender, and I didn't always appreciate the kind of attention that some of them seemed like they were interested in giving me. What I wanted was to feel accepted (normal) and to focus on the commonality of the group. I didn't want to feel different. But this group was hardly a significant part of my life. It wasn't a daily battle.

When I worked as a "checkout chick" at Ringwood Coles nearly thirty years ago, I was the only male checkout person there. On the late shifts, my colleagues would gather at the service desk and chat about boys and clothes and whatever else, and I definitely wasn't made to feel welcome. They had a community. I was not part of it. But this glimpse doesn't help me understand what it must be like long-term, in the same way that someone who's had a slipped disc doesn't understand exhausting chronic back pain. This wasn't a lifelong career I was fighting my way through. I really have no stories.

I have no idea about the people that come to my blog. I figure that they're a pretty diverse crowd. The only barrier to entry I can think of would be that it's in English. I don't think my words alienate any of the readers. There's certainly no aggressive atmosphere when someone finds an article about SQL query tuning or about developing a culture around data, no matter who the reader is.

And yet when it's a crowd of people, there are those that are put off by what's in the room.

When a group is almost entirely female, the men might feel out of place unless there is an effort to make them feel like they're not out of place. Like they're normal. The same. In our male-dominated technical communities, it's the women who will feel out of place. We know this, and hopefully we're even used to spotting it and making an effort to be inclusive of women.

But perhaps we're not as used to people who look noticeably different. The person who belongs to a very different culture, perhaps very obviously because of the hijab they're wearing, or because of the colour of their skin. Perhaps it's someone whose personality is just a bit too 'out-there'. Perhaps it's a transgender person, identifying as a different gender to the last time they visited the group.

The way that we make these people feel welcome is to respect who they are. To remember that our community is stronger because of the differences, but that we have similarities with these people.

The SQL Server community recently got it wrong at some events. Jennifer Jones wrote about how unwelcome she was feeling at some events and that she had decided to leave the community. Because of the way that people refused to accept her, she has opted out. None of us want this. The voices making her feel welcome needed to be stronger than those that made her feel unwelcome.

We needed to do better. And still do.

As community 'leaders', we need to be champions of diversity. We need to stand up against harassment. We need to make sure that people understand we will not tolerate harassment at our events. We need to make sure that we help anyone who feels like the victim of harassment. Never devalue what they're going through. Understand that they're going through stuff that many of us have never experienced.

I don't care what kind of harassment it is. It could be a woman finding that she's drawn the attention of an amorous man. It could be that someone is being insulted because of a speech impediment. We need it to stop.

We need to educate our communities. We need to make everyone feel truly welcome. That's what exceptional leadership is.


Shortcuts – good and bad

This month, Jess Pomfret (@jpomfret) challenges us to write about shortcuts, and I'm going to write about something I used to do back in the late 1980s in French class when I still lived in England.

One of the worst things about French was verb conjugation. If you said "We do something" as opposed to "They do something" or "You do something", then it's not enough to just use the word "Nous" for "we", you need to conjugate the verb (typically to –ons, like "Nous mangeons" for "We eat"). It was annoying to have to think about, and at that stage in my life (feeling a little unenthusiastic about an upcoming move to Australia, and big on shortcuts) I was happy to learn about an alternative.

The alternative was to use "On" instead of "Nous". A quick internet search shows https://www.thoughtco.com/the-many-meanings-of-the-french-subject-pronoun-on-3572148 and that it's valid to say "Olivier et moi, on est contents" (Olivier and me, we are happy), where "on" is swapped in for "nous", and (the important bit) conjugates the same as the singular third person. It's not "nous sommes contents" (we are happy), it's "on est contents" (we are happy). I was definitely happy when I worked this out, and (almost as a bonus) my teachers would be a little frustrated. It was part of my mission to try to get an 'A' but with unsatisfactory effort – a trait I hope my kids didn't inherit and which I promise I grew out of. I managed to avoid heaps of conjugation effort, even if I may have done myself a disservice in the process.

The other day I was watching a sci-fi show (maybe Picard) and I got to wondering whether gender-related pronouns would still be a thing, or whether English will evolve them out over the next few hundred years. I remember in C. S. Lewis' books about Narnia, when asked what kind of creature she is, Lucy replies that she's a girl. I see that the first chapter of the Bible says "male and female he created them", and I consider this to imply that God created *them*, and the fact that Adam was male and Eve was female didn't suggest that they weren't fully equal. Eve was no less of a person than Adam – Adam was simply male, while Eve was female. I would almost rather Lucy had identified herself as a human, but maybe she was describing herself in comparison to her siblings. One of the girls as opposed to one of the boys.

I say all this because 'on' seems very much like a gender-neutral pronoun. It's even number-neutral and person-neutral. It seems ideal. When we don't know someone's gender, we refer to them as 'they/them', and only adopt a gender-specific pronoun once we know someone's gender. If we could stick to my French lesson's 'on' that could work nicely, but even then I feel like using an ambiguous pronoun (another way which 'on' is used) is tricky.

Not everyone wants to be referred to by a gender-neutral pronoun. Narnia's Lucy was proud to be a girl, and plenty of other people are also proud to be their particular gender. Others prefer to be known as 'they/them', and I hope they're proud to identify that way too, but few want to be assumed to be the gender that they're not, or identified as 'gender-unknown' once they've been identified. If I refer to a male person as a non-gender pronoun, am I suggesting that they're not masculine?

To me it must be that person's choice. At least until society drops gender-specific pronouns completely.

And pronouns should never be used as a weapon.

If I *refuse* to use the correct pronoun for someone, I'm insulting them. No question here. It's antagonistic. It's harassment. It's hate-speech. It's suggesting that they're not exhibiting the gender that they're trying to, and that's insulting. Sticks and stones hurt far less than names, and this is just as bad.

If it's done accidentally, then it should be corrected and the person who made the mistake should try harder. I've done this. I apologised, and still managed to do it again. But I wasn't trying to hurt them. They know this, and I've talked to them about it. It takes practice, but it's about the sentiment.

What's not acceptable is what Jennifer Jones wrote about here. Deliberately referring to a woman as a guy, refusing to be corrected, and making someone feel like there is no one is in their corner is all bad behaviour. No one should have to put up with that. Jenn says she's not planning to attend any more SQL Saturday events, and I feel like we've failed her as a community.

So despite the fact that I used a French-pronoun shortcut to make life easier for myself as a kid, I now think that this is a shortcut to be avoided. I'll use a gender-neutral pronoun if I don't know someone's gender, and will probably continue to make assumptions, but if I'm corrected that someone prefers a different (including gender-neutral) one, I will try to do better.

We should all try to do better.


Imposter Syndrome

It's a funny thing, Imposter Syndrome. To say you have Imposter Syndrome means pointing out successes, which only exacerbates it, right?

I think the point is not that sufferers deny the success, but that they don't feel they deserve any accolades. I suspect they thought they'd feel different by the time they'd achieved things, and because they don't feel like they have their ducks in a row, because they don't feel like they've figured out how to do life, they feel like a fake. They thought they would have eradicated that feeling of doubt about just about everything, and they haven't.

I know from my own life that achieving things doesn't mean I have a 'clue' about life. I know that I'm still trying to find my way, and that I look at other people and assume they have more of that clue about life.

When I get to speak at some event, I still compare myself to the other speakers and feel like they know what they're doing more than I do.

When someone refers to me as an expert, I still feel very aware of the vast amount that I don't know. Every day brings new challenges to show me I don't have all the answers.

If someone thanks me for some help I've given them, I worry that it might not have been quite as good as it should've been.

Imposter Syndrome is a very real thing. It's not about self-deprecation, or having a lack of self-worth, or denial of who we 'really' are. It's simply that on the inside, we feel the same as we did before we'd achieved anything. Recipients of the MVP award consistently say that it's "humbling". We look at other recipients and see their strength, and assume that they have life figured out. We remember feeling like life would be easier afterwards, and then discovered that things were still hard. So we felt like we didn't belong. Imposter Syndrome set in. And every time we get renewed we continue to feel the same, and that we're not as good as all the other recipients. It's humbling.

Imposter Syndrome is so commonplace that it's the topic of this month's T-SQL Tuesday (hosted by Jon Shaulis – thanks Jon!). Lots of people will be writing about various aspects of it. For me, as a consultant, I have to have enough confidence to lead my customers and my employees, and be sure that I can help them. Imposter Syndrome conflicts with what I have to do in my career. I don't feel like I'm any more special than the next person, but I need to be able to walk into a customer's office as an expert.

And so I've practised minimising the impact of Imposter Syndrome for a long time, and have learned what I think works for me.

The secret is that I'm not there for me. I'm there for you.

Life is about serving. I'm a consultant so I can help my customers do better.

I know there are ways I can help people. It might be as simple as listening to them talk things out. It might be offering an opinion if they want it. It might involve tuning their databases, or looking at the quality of their data, or demonstrating its business value, but however I'm able to help, if I focus on the needs of the customer and less on myself, then Imposter Syndrome has less power.

Someone else might be able to do a better job (and if I wasn't actively fighting against it, this kind of thinking could really hold me back here), but I can still help a bit. I shouldn't stop myself from helping just because someone else might do better. No matter who it is – be it an audience member at a conference, a customer, or whoever, I'll try to think about the connection that I want to make with them, how I want to make them feel different, how I can help them do better. I'll distract myself away from me.

I'm not thinking about me. I'm thinking about them.

Shifting the focus means that I don't have to think about whether I'm an imposter or not. I can just get on with dealing with them.

I still get uncomfortable and feel humbled when someone refers to me as an expert or gives me an award. Because that's when the focus has been put on me for a moment, and I to want be focused on someone else.

I don't want Imposter Syndrome to stop me from helping someone else with what they need.

I don't want it to stop you either.